ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS ......... Have a Laugh :)

1. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds
of either".

2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals
are more popular than a five day test.

3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master

4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage

5. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end &
a fool at the other.

6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number
present.

7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece.

8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power ..

9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.

10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
everybody disagrees later on.

11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.

15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

16. e.t.c. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
actually do.

17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide that nothing can be done together.

18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.

19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.

20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken
of when dead.

21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.

23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in
midway "See I am not injured yet."

24. Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY

25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

26. Father : A banker provided by nature.

27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.

28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.

29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
Confidence after.

30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with
his bills.